Worksheet: Discover Your Top 5 Relationship Values
Introduction This worksheet is designed to help you explore and identify your top five relationship values. Values are the principles that guide your behaviour and decision-making. Knowing your values can help you communicate effectively, navigate challenges, and build a stronger, healthier relationship. Take your time to reflect on each question and write down your thoughts.
Step 1: Reflect on Past Experiences
Think about your previous relationships or significant interactions. Use the prompts below to explore what values matter most to you:
What made you feel loved and respected in past relationships?
Example: “I felt valued when my partner was honest with me, even about difficult topics.”
What hurt you or created conflict in past relationships?
Example: “I struggled when my boundaries were not acknowledged.”
What do you admire most in other relationships you’ve observed?
Example: “I admire couples who openly support each other’s goals.”
Write down any values or principles that come to mind from these reflections.
Step 2: Identify Your Core Values
Below is a list of common relationship values. Circle or highlight the ones that resonate most with you. Add any others you feel are missing:
· Honesty Trust
· Respect Communication
· Support Independence
· Loyalty Empathy
· Adventure Growth
· Family Security
· Passion Fun
· Patience Forgiveness
· Kindness Integrity
Now, narrow this list to the five values that feel most essential to you.
Your Top 5 Relationship Values:
Step 3: Evaluate How These Values Show Up
For each value you’ve identified, answer the following questions:
Why is this value important to me?
How does this value show up in my current relationship (or how would I like it to)?
What boundaries or actions support this value?
Example:
Value: Honesty
Why it’s important: “I need to trust what my partner says to feel secure.”
How it shows up: “We have regular check-ins where we talk about our feelings and goals.”
Actions: “I commit to being open and vulnerable with my partner.”
Repeat for all five values.
Step 4: Focus on Two Relationship Values
Now, identify two values that you and your partner want to focus on together. Use the prompts below to explore how these values can contribute to the health and growth of your relationship:
Value 1: _____________________________________
How does this value benefit our relationship? _____________________________________
What can I do to provide this value to the relationship? _____________________________________
What can my partner do to provide this value to the relationship? _____________________________________
Value 2: _____________________________________
How does this value benefit our relationship? _____________________________________
What can I do to provide this value to the relationship? _____________________________________
What can my partner do to provide this value to the relationship? _____________________________________
Step 5: Communicate Your Values
Use this space to write a short statement about your top five values. This will help you share them with your partner in a clear and open way:
My Relationship Values Statement: “In my relationship, I value __________, __________, __________, __________, and __________ because they help me feel __________. I’d love to work together to nurture these values by __________.”
Step 6: Commit to Action
Consider one or two actions you can take this week to honour your values in your relationship. These might involve starting a conversation, setting a boundary, or simply showing appreciation for your partner.
My Commitment:
Reflection Take a moment to reflect on how this exercise felt. Did anything surprise you? What did you learn about yourself or your relationship? Write down any insights or next steps you’d like to take:
By understanding and prioritizing your values, you’re taking an essential step toward building a relationship that feels fulfilling and aligned with your needs.
